


Screen Door in a Hurricane

by true_amphisbaena



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Human, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cas gets shitfaced, Constantly being Edited, Dexter references, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Edited, I'm so mean to Michael, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Omega Castiel, One Shot, Swearing, and Ms Josie's cat, and by that I mean that I use some of Debra's swears, screw Brian, sorry in advance, there's like a lot of swearing, this was so fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 13:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/true_amphisbaena/pseuds/true_amphisbaena
Summary: Cas's fiancé cheats on him with the neighbor, so like any sensible person he sets out to get shit faced at the first bar he finds. Little does he know how very unwell he handles his alcohol in addition to a flirting alpha. Add that with no memory of the previous night the next day and Castiel definitely doesn't handle the aftermath very well...until he does.





	1. The Secrets Lie in the Peanuts

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural and am most certainly not making a profit out of this measy fanfic
> 
> Okay so this is going to be OOC so if that irks you the door is like the back button on whatever device you're reading this on. Also I literally made this a/b/o for the kicks, this did not go in the direction I planned.
> 
> Have fun

Golden whiskey swirls in Castiel’s hands.

  
He had never realized how much he liked the color before, the liquid amber shining under the irritating bar lights weirdly enticing and Castiel finds that he can’t look away. Of course, it helps that he’s had at least three previous glasses of the hard liquor. The bartender is already giving him weary looks like he expects Cas to fall out his chair, like he almost did when he tried to go to the bathroom.  
Still, Cas doesn’t let anything bother him, not the bartender, not the usual din of a bar on a Friday night and certainly not the reason he came to this God forbidden hell hole in the first place.  
Gabriel had mentioned this place a couple of weeks ago, said that it sold the best blow jobs, the shot not the actual job, in town and Cas had promptly forgotten the encounter after reminding his brother that he does not, in fact, drink.

The irony is not lost on him and with how small this town is, and how much of a contributing gossiper his brother is, he determines that his brother will hear word of this by tomorrow and will probably be banging on Cas’s door while he tries to get over his hangover. But desperate times call for desperate measures and when Gabriel had mentioned this bar it was the only lead Cas had to actually finding a bar he could drown his sorrows in.  
He squints down at his drink; maybe if he stares hard enough he’ll find the answers he’s looking for. Not that any good answers are hiding in a gritty bar, stashing themselves away in his chipped whiskey glass.  
Maybe they’re hiding in the peanut bowl?  
Before Cas’s eyes can actually dart to a nearby bowl of peanuts a voice slices through the constant babble of noise around him and into his thoughts.

“Hey there darlin’.”

Cas pauses, unsure if he had a heard a voice at all and decides to investigate, turning to face a complete stranger who had just sidled up on the bar stool besides him with a smile directed towards him.  
He eyes the man for a second, taking note of his crew cut, simple plaid shirt and heavy boots all accompanied by a leather jacket and a suave smile. Even while drunk and with a presently uncoordinated nose Cas can tell immediately that this man is an alpha.

“Can I help you?” Cas offers only just barely slurring, both eyebrows and mouth quirked up in confusion, maybe he mistook Cas for someone else?

The dude’s smile grows and he leans against the counter in an obvious excuse to get closer to Cas, who is a little too drunk to give much of a crap about the personal space breach.

“Oh I’m sure you can, if you’re willing?” the dude answers and any other time Cas would appreciate the lovely lilt of a southern drawl if he wasn’t struggling to focus on one Dean since two others had just popped up.

“Sorry sir-“

“Dean.” The man quickly interrupts wincing at the title.

“I’m not old enough for that, makes me feel like my dad.”

Cas nods slowly, Gabriel hates it when people call him old; says that there are far more creative things people can call him.

“Dean,” Cas corrects himself and tries to focus his eyes on the middle Dean hovering in front of him, “I’m flattered,” he says dropping his head onto his hand, elbow resting on the bar counter; already tired of this conversation. “But with a face like yours I’m sure that the help you’re looking for is just a step away in a place like this. You’ll have better luck looking elsewhere.”

Proud that he managed to finish a sentence without any mishaps he rewards himself with a mouthful of peanuts, to which he immediately pulls a face to and he grabs a nearby napkin to spit the offending nuts into.  
What kind of fiendish bar gives out unsalted peanuts?

“I get it,” Dean responds, slouching lazily and giving Cas an amused smirk at his little display. “You don’t swing that way, I can respect that.”  
He leans forward conspiringly but Cas seems far more interested in trying to scoop a piece of ice into his mouth with his tongue.  
“But I can promise that you will be questioning your sexuality after a night with me.”

Castiel studies Dean’s smug face as he chews his ice, the cold doing something to sober him up as he absorbs what Dean had just told him.

“I don’t doubt it,” Cas answers thoughtfully, lips pursed as his eyes flick over the alpha’s handsome face. “But I’m offended that you assume I’m straight, I mean,” he twists in his seat and indicates to his behind. “Have you seen this ass? Can’t keep the men off me.”

Dean laughs hard, hands hitting the table and making the bartender jump. “Oh I can definitely believe that.”

“But alas,” Cas continues, unable to put a halt to the thoughts directly streaming out his mouth; his usually vigilant filter having deserted it’s post and leaving Castiel with an unreined kind of honesty that would most likely leave him with his inhibitions bare and a lapful of regret. “I have recently just come out of a serious relationship and this fine booty isn’t looking for company tonight.”

He takes another sip of his drink and when he looks up at Dean again he is pleasantly surprised to find that despite the rejection the guy doesn’t look mad or even offended, happy to have met a decent human being in a bar of all places Cas decides to have pity on the man.

“But if I wasn’t, oh boy I’d have you bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.”

He pauses only to peak at Dean, who looks satisfyingly shocked before nodding to himself, and Cas goes back to nursing his drink.

Well he would, if a nearby table hadn’t started laughing uproariously and started up a headache between Cas’s eyes.

“What the hell do those douche bags find so funny?” Cas mumbles and jumps a little when Dean answers him, having thought he would have wandered off in search of better company.

“Pretty sure they’re laughing at me.”

“You know those men?” Cas questions, squinting as his inebriated brain tries to understand the situation.

“I came here with them; they saw me staring at you and bet I wouldn’t be able to pick you up. I guess they’re happy that they won.”  
Dean rubs the back of his neck and avoids Cas’s eyes.

“I thought you should know, I also just got out a pretty major relationship, not that that excuses my douchiness. Sorry for bothering you.”  
Dean moves to leave the bar stool but Cas’s grip, while loose, on his bicep makes him pause.

“How much?” Cas inquires, trying not to get distracted by the thick muscle currently nestled under his hand.

Dean blinks a few times and grunts, “Huh?”

“How much did they bet on me rejecting you?” Cas clarifies eyes sparkling.

“Altogether, about eighty-something dollars,” he frowns; doing the mental somersaults that calculating with a beer in your hand usually produces. “Pretty sure Benny bet on you slapping me.” He mumbles as an afterthought.

“So you wouldn’t have to take me home to win, just snag me with your charm while I swoon in your arms?” Cas pushes on, fiddling with his half empty glass in a bored manner, the excited lilt in his voice saying he’s anything but.

“I guess.” Dean answers unsure, green eyes crinkling.

Those eyes fly open though when Cas smiles mischievously and flings himself into Dean’s arms, butt perched precariously on his bar stool and miraculously hitting his intended target, lips landing squarely on Dean’s mouth.  
Cas goes all in, fingers scratching at the shorter hair at the back of Dean’s head to tug him closer. When the laughter coming from Dean’s friends subsides he has to hold back his own laughter and focus instead on the kiss he had initiated in the first place.

Soon though, Cas isn’t the only one putting his all in the kiss and is doesn’t take much for Dean to get with the program.  
He steps off his stool and places himself between Cas’s thighs, one hand on his hip as leverage to push Cas closer towards him while the other sneaks up his neck to the back of his head; positioning Cas to make the kiss deeper.  
The kiss quickly morphs into a spirited make-out session entirely too inappropriate to perform in front of bystanders.

After a thorough tongue wrestle and a few lewd moans slipping out of Cas they eventually pull apart, both panting and Cas wiping at his chin with a satisfied smirk on his face. Their little session had caused him to produce some slick and he’s sure that everyone in the bar is aware of just how aroused he is.  
Cas side glances at the table behind them, pleased to see the shocked faces of the previously laughing men but Dean’s eyes don’t leave Cas’s face.

“Bartender,” Cas calls out grinning openly when the poor guy walks up to him avoiding his eyes. “Can I borrow a pen?”

One is practically thrown at him and he scribbles something on a napkin before handing it back.

“Here’s the deal,” Cas says placing a 20 on the counter before hopping off the stool and he pushes Dean back slightly, hands resting on his chest. The kiss had given him a kind of buzz no alcohol could ever have done and he can’t help but feel sexy and brave where sober him would have seen it more as stupid and embarrassing.  
“I’m going to give you my number to further seal your victory but I want half of the dealings.” His voice still slightly lowered so that their conspiracy isn’t overheard and he tilts his head innocently up at Dean.

“I do feel like I earn it.” He practically croons. At Dean’s astounded nod of agreement he grins wide.

“Great!” he beams and moves his hand that had somehow managed to move itself from the base of Dean's chest to rest on his butt, the napkin with his number clutched in it.  
“Guess I’ll hear from you.” He says cheekily, landing a light smack on Dean’s arse after slipping the napkin in his back pocket.

Cas walks off then, sparing a wink at the guys still sitting gobsmacked at the tabled and exits the bar. Behind him Dean pulls out the napkin and stares down at the numbers before flitting up to the name written above in neat cursive, an impressive achievement for a five second scrawl on uneven material.

 

Castiel

[imagine some pretty, over the top cursive here]

 

It reads and Dean whistles lowly.  
This ought to be interesting, he thinks as he downs his drink.


	2. Dean is Most Certainly Allergic to Cats (Benadryl Will Do the Trick Though)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day after, and he obviously feels like shit. Cas mopes until Gabriel kicks him out, which fortunately leads to an encounter with a certain Alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters!! Haha! Is this still a one shot? There's only going to be two chapters so I'm not editing. This is where the swearing comes in.

Cas is woken up by a series of yowls and high pitched noises.

  
Just barely managing to open one eye he pokes his head out of the little cocoon he’d wrapped around himself in last night to peer down at his floor, where his chocolate Burmese, Cinnamon, sits staring up at him, mouth open mid-yowl.

“Cinn-Cinn.” Castiel mumbles fondly, arm managing to wrestle itself out his blanket to reach down towards her.

Seeing the movement as the invitation it is the cat leaps up, treading lightly on Castiel’s chest and making her way to his face which she rubs softly with her own.

“How is it you always know when I’m feeling like shit in the mornings?”

Cinnamon makes a soft sound in her throat, as if shrugging his question off and she starts burrowing herself into Castiel’s blankets until she curled up against Cas’s chest and purring rhythmically.

Peaking over behind him, clutching Cinnamon close to his chest to keep her in place, he studies the cold sheets of the left side of the bed. He'd made sure to take all the blanket from that side, even though Michael isn't there to be inconvenienced by his pettiness.

Michael.

Michael was the worst thing to happen to him yesterday, or rather ever for that matter. As Cas stews over the overwhelming events of yesterday he can hear his front door open, slamming hard against his wall and slammed closed just as loudly, followed by hurried footsteps before a head pops out from around the bedroom door and Cas recognizes his brothers face.

“You look like shit.” Is his greeting, a self-satisfied smirk stretched across his face and Castiel scoops his cat up to roll around and face himself away from his door and his irritating brother. 9:34am the alarm clock reads from the bedside table. Jeez, news really does travel in a small town.

“I can’t believe you drank alcohol without me, as your older brother I feel privy to this particular milestone in your life.” Slinking deeper into the bedroom Gabriel makes his way around the bed to get a better look at Castiel’s face.  
“I get that you wanted the full experience but whiskey, for your first time, not your best decision little bro.”

“Please just go away Gabriel, I really…I just-I can’t deal with your shit right now.” Castiel tries to dismiss him before the tears trailing down his face become too apparent.

“Oh, bringing out the curse words. I’m going to assume this whole spectacle is because of what happened with Michael?” Gabriel starts but his palms quickly lift in surrender when Castiel rises slowly from his bed like a storm cloud, sending a scathing glare made scarier with his bloodshot eyes and bared teeth.

“Calm down, I just want to know the full story. Put away the claws, no need to get violent.” He teases but his gaze is sympathetic and Castiel wants to punch him.

“What? Doesn’t the whole town already know?” is his biting reply, twisting himself so that he’s now facing the wall the bed is pressed against and his back is once again turned to Gabriel.

“Well, Ms Josie says that while she was walking her cat she saw Michael and your neighbor Nicole running to her house, their arses' as naked as the day they were born. But you know how Ms Josie is, how can I be expected to believe a word from a woman that puts a cat on a leash?”

“I caught him cheating, with Nicole, on the living room couch. It was the first thing I saw when I got home.”

Gabriel winces and shakes his head, “Three years and you think you know a guy. I never liked him anyhow, had a bigger stick up his ass than you do.”

“Just go, you’re not helping anything by being here.” Castiel mutters, stroking Cinnamon softly despite the anger welling out, currently in the form of tears. He jumps up though when he feels strong arms encircling him from behind.

“Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole of a brother that I’d just leave you here when the last thing you need is to be alone?”

The tears running down his face double in size and he allows himself to openly sob in his brothers arms.  
Seven years they had been together. He’d met Michael in sophomore year and they’d been together ever since. He’d been sweet and nice and carried his books; being Castiel’s first boyfriend his adolescent brain had needed no other reasons to believe Michael to be ‘the one’.  
He’d been absolutely perfect and Castiel’s parents had been absolutely thrilled to hear that their child was dating the preacher’s alpha son and Michael’s own parents had been pleased to have their son associated with such upstanding people as his family were well known within the church community and were especially pleased knowing that their son had snagged an omega.  
He had even given Cas a promise ring, doubling it as a purity ring as they vowed to abstain from sex until they married.

Looking back at it now it was obvious that he was just using Cas as a cover to keep his family happy while he went off gallivanting with God knows who. All those late nights, random calls and credit card expenses. Castiel briefly wonders how Michael could have possibly had affairs in this town as the church’s preacher but if Cas had been oblivious of Michael’s intentions for this long it wouldn’t have taken much on Michael’s part to keep Cas in the dark. All those late nights, random calls and credit card expenses, some of the blame is on him for being so God damn stupid for 7 years. His only saving grace in this whole shit show was that he'd insisted on waiting to marry.

Lesson fucking learnt, lets see how Michael feels about deceiving him when he burns all his nasty Toby Smith CD's. 

*****

He doesn’t leave his house for a full week, alternating between sleeping, crying in the shower and staring at his bedroom wall.  
He’s currently partaking in the last one as he sits on his bed, facing the wall covered in his grandmother’s quilt with a bucket of chocolate ice-cream in his lap.  
He can hear the tell-tale loudness of Gabriel arriving and he shuffles around in the kitchen before invading Castiel’s carefully constructed brooding silence.

“Okay, that’s it.” Gabriel announces, marching towards the blinds to open them as well as the windows to waft out Cas’s depressive scent. “Everyone deserves a grieving period but your bitch of an ex-fiancé definitely doesn’t deserve having someone like you crying over him for this long. You need to go outside, look at a bird, kick Ms Josie’s cat, whatever; but you need to get out of this house.”  
He scrunches his nose and moves closer to the window. “I have never smelled so much rejected omega in my life, you’re going to choke on your own hormones at the rate you’re going.”

When Castiel just sticks another spoonful of ice-cream in his mouth, face showing no reaction to the sounds coming out his brother’s mouth, Gabriel takes a more direct approach.  
Castiel is knocked straight back into reality when he lands on the floor, just barely managing to save his precious bucket of dairy goodness. Gabriel had pulled the blanket from under him and proceeds to strip Cas’s bed completely while he stares up at him from the floor.

“I am going to put these through the wash and you are going to clean up your act well enough to go to the farmer’s market tomorrow.”  
When Cas just simply flops down to lie on his carpet Gabriel just shakes his head before leaving his presence to throw Cas’s sheets into the washing machine.  
“I will be here tomorrow, and I am not above manhandling you. Eat a vegetable.” And with that said he leaves Cas to his own devices.

Castiel just lies there for a few minutes but eventually decides to go relieve himself and then go to the kitchen. Gabriel had left the bags of groceries on the counter, probably too done with Cas’s shit to bother putting them away. His responsible adult side decides to pack them away while his immature, depressed and hurt side grumbles the whole time.  
Not for the first time, he’s glad that it’s summer and that school will still be closed for another eight weeks before he will be forced to return to his students. At least Michael had decided to reveal his cheating, bastard ass during Cas’s holiday.

*****

Fully believing in Gabe’s threat of manhandling Cas gives himself the rest of the day to laze about but as morning arrives he drags himself out of his freshly cleaned sheets to take a proper shower where he doesn’t just stand and cry but actively washes himself…and then cries.  
He had just put on his first pair of jeans in a week and a shirt that doesn’t belong to Michael when Gabriel arrives.  
He’s assesses Cas’s appearance before declaring his satisfaction and leads Cas to his embarrassing Prius.

The farmer’s market is packed as always and Cas finds himself hating the bustling crown more than usual and wants to ask Gabriel to just take him back home but his brother just kicks him out, ignoring his complaints, and informs him that he’ll be picking him up in three hours before driving off.

Thoroughly abandoned and annoyed Cas wanders the stalls, barely looking at what’s on offer and trying to keep himself from being recognized but alas, the universe doesn’t care what he wants and he hears a voice call to him from behind him. He calculates that the voice is too close for him to able to get away by running so he resigns himself to an uncomfortable conversation and turns around to meet the voice.  
He’s surprised to find himself face to face with an attractive male alpha he’s never met before and he eyes him cautiously, a word away from just ditching if he suspects even a hint of flirting.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Well, I wasn’t sure what to expect from you but definitely not here of all places. Castiel-it is Castiel right? I’m not entirely sure how to pronounce it. I’ve been trying to contact you for days but you haven’t been answering your phone. I asked around to see if maybe you had been someone out of town but everyone I asked knew exactly who you were and directed me to your house. I would have knocked but that seemed a little inappropriate considering…” he pauses for an uncomfortable second, oblivious to Castiel’s bewilderment and continues, “I thought maybe you had just written the wrong number down since you had been drinking but there was always the chance you had written it wrong purposely so I didn’t want to assume-”

Cas just stares at the man through his spiel, only half paying attention, despite hearing a few concerning words Cas decides to address the most pressing question.

“Do I know you?”

Dean immediately halts his rant, looking confused himself before understanding flashes in his eyes and rubs his neck, suddenly looking awkward and more than a little embarrassed if his dark blush had anything to say.

“Ahh, you don’t remember. I guess that makes sense, you did look like you’d had quite a bit by the time I got to you. Umm,” he looks at a loss for words for a second, probably wanting to leave the conversation as much as Castiel but bravely strives on.

“We sort of kissed, more like made out actually, to win a bet from my friends. I owe you forty-two dollars by the way.”

Cas stares, then stares some more, and gradually his face grows warmer until he's bent over with his hands pressed against his burning face.

“Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck.” He murmurs, his head shaking minutely. Not only had he been cheated on in the worst possible way he had also made out with a stranger immediately after. The town must feel like they’re witnessing a soap-opera in action.

“Never heard that one before, I hope you’re not Catholic.”

This man’s voice, albeit pleasant voice, is the very last thing Castiel needs to hear right now so he pulls himself together long enough to tell him, only just slightly hysteric, “Take me some place I can sit down and shut the fuck up, I need a minute.”

Dean hesitates for a moment but one look from Cas has him leading Cas to a bench a little ways from the stalls, before sitting on the far side of the bench, dutifully waiting for Cas to have his minute.

Cas is silent for only five minutes before demanding a full clarifying account of the night before, which Dean obediently recounts in embarrassing detail. While Cas can’t maintain eye contact through the whole retelling of it, he manages to let out a few giggles every few seconds just hearing about the shit they managed to spout out the night before.

“I winked at them? Like, it wasn’t a twitch? My eyelid went down and everything?”

Dean laughs wholeheartedly, a sound Cas vaguely recalls hearing the night previously and finds himself liking the sound immensely.

“Sure did, I wasn’t the only one wanting your phone number last night.” Dean teases him good naturedly.

Cas allows himself another chuckle before speaking again, his voice growing more serious after the good laugh they’d had at their own expense.

“I just want you to know that I had never even had a sip of alcohol until last night. I’m not even sure how I got home after leaving the bar. If I had know how drunk me would have behaved I would have taken my sorry ass and bothered the nice people running the 7-Eleven instead.” At Dean’s strange look his quickly adds, “They never have the slushie flavor I like when I’m there. I suspect Brian; he always slacks off when it’s his turn to restock the shelves.” Dean’s expression, understandably, doesn’t change so Cas elaborates even more. “I haven’t been doing very well after finding out my fiancé cheated on me, I may or may not have taken more ice-cream runs there than is probably best for my wallet or the staff who has to deal with my crusty ass at three in the morning.”

Dean stares at him for a few seconds longer before shaking his head, an amused smile on his face.

“It’s never a dull moment with you. I’m tempted to stick around just to see what you’ll do next.”

With an unexpected surge of confidence Cas raises his eyebrow at his new acquaintance and gives him a smirk.

“You better stick around; you still owe me my forty-two dollars.”

Dean’s grins widens. “Afraid I don’t have any cash on me at the moment, if you really want your share I’m willing to have you accommodate me to an ATM, only if you’re up for it that is?”

Dean very clearly gives Cas a way out, to say ‘no fuck you, PayPal my shit to me you fuck puddle’ but Cas is so freaking tired of being sad and waking up with crusty eyes after falling asleep crying…again. The challenge is evident and solid in his eyes and Castiel has never wanted to just do something without thinking about the consequences as much as he does in this very moment.

“You’re driving,” Cas announces, standing up from the bench and leading the way to the make shift parking lot. “My asshole brother ditched me here and I want him to spend a couple of hours trying to find me here in this clusterfuck before I call him.”

Dean is quick to follow him. “You have quite the potty mouth. Bet you have a few even I don’t know about.”

Castiel grins, keeping the fact that would never have so much as dared to say the word ‘damn’ a week ago. That’s all about to change. No longer will he be the perfect fiancé, dedicatingly doing the laundry and making dinner every night while Michael goes around sticking his pisser into anything with a pulse. From now on he’ll be doing what he wants, and having Dean bang him like a screen door in a hurricane is at the top of his list, right next to buying more cat food because Cas might be driving on the wild side now but that doesn’t mean his cat should suffer because of it.  
God, he hopes Dean isn’t allergic to cats.

They had just made it to Dean’s impressive muscle car when Cas catches sight of the promise ring still sitting snugly on his left hand. He stares at it for a couple of tense seconds in which Dean notices his gaze and says nothing. Waiting for Cas to just call the whole thing off and have them both return to their lives, opting to just forget each other as well as their whole embarrassing ordeal.

Instead Cas gazes deeply into the tiny diamond sitting in the center of the band.  
“You know any good Pawn stores nearby? Bet I could by a shit ton of ice-cream with this baby.”

Dean just shakes his head and laughs, not for the last time where Cas is concerned.  
“I know a guy, Rufus, he’ll give you a good deal after you haggle with him a bit.”

“Excellent,” they both climb into their seats, “We should get some condoms as well. Lord knows I’ve never had to use any in my house where my fiancé is concerned.”

Dean practically chokes on his spit as he reverses, nearly running over a gaggle of old ladies. Cas hoses himself as Dean profusely apologizes to the swiftly descending crones clucking about how back in their day the only thing they had to worry about was the negative influence of AC/DC on the younger generation, not irresponsible drivers. The conversation quickly progresses towards kidney stones as they block their way out and Cas had never been closer to peeing himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like? Did you hate it? Want to exchange creative swears? Let me know in the comments.
> 
> What day is it? Monday? It feels like a Monday. Wait, no it's Tuesday.
> 
> Note: Nothing against Toby Smith, don't even listen to the guy. But he sings A LOT about alcohol so I thought it fitting for Cas to burn CD's from that artist.


	3. Epilogue - Real Engagements Hidden Behind Money Making Fake Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought you'd seen the last of me!
> 
> I still have some semi-decent-ish crap to sh*t out at this ungodly hour.

“Congratulations on your engagement, and may I say that we are honored you have chosen us to have your special occasion.” The waiter hastily pours their champagne, on the house of course, which will be the first of many bottles to be consumed that night as while as a complimentary dessert if they play their cards right.

Cas and Dean make sure that their cheap rings are in full sight as people coo and aww at them as the excitement after their announcement dies down.

“May I ask where you two first met?” the waiter asks innocently, unaware that he’s currently being hoodwinked by professionals.

Dean and Cas share a look only a couple that have been together as long as they have could possibly even hope to share. Castiel turns to beam at the waiter, every bit the happy newly made fiancé with his flushed face and shining eyes. He had even managed to leak a few tears this time, a tissue still clasped in the hand unoccupied by Deans.

“Actually,” Castiel starts, his act Oscar worthy if their past conquests have anything to say about it. “We met in this very restaurant, how fitting that we should start our lives together at the very place our lives first crossed.”

The waiter places his hand over his heart, lapping up Cas’s words like a single mother reading a cheap romance novel with a long haired man on the cover. Cas easily conceals his smirk with a well timed pat at his damp eyes. He’s going to get that chocolate lava cake even if he had to get the whole restaurant sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it. Cas and Dean get free desserts for life while their real rings sit in their pockets and I'm lying here with a craving for chocolate lava cake.
> 
> Embrace me? Turn me away in disgust?? Let me know in the comments ya'll. Also, i hope you passed you'er kidney stones from the first chapter.
> 
> And just so we're clear, i know that 12 am is like nothing to you hard core fanfic addicts but I am past reasoning at this point and this is my end note so I'm going to complain if i want to. I might also be craving human contact.  
> Any who, over and out the back door

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo, so. I bet if anything this was interesting. Maybe you had fun, maybe you didn't. Feel free to tell me which in the comments.  
> Point out any mistakes if you see 'em, I'm tired right now and am definitely making some grammar mistakes.
> 
> Okay that's it. Pass your kidney stones.


End file.
